February favourites

I love a changing season. Whether the transition is from summer into autumn or winter into spring it always reminds me to notice. The world is constantly shifting, however much it feels like I am staying the same. There is comfort in that, I think.

The other day I walked a different route from usual on a boring Sunday and had the strange experience of being, for a short while, totally lost in the place where I live.

Truthfully, I got stuck in a field. I couldn’t find the gate out and was determined not to turn back the way I came. It was in the last corner I checked.

It was a big field, okay?

I was weirdly disappointed when, on finally finding the exit, I rounded a corner and was abruptly back in familiar territory.

I would say lately my mood has been characterised by constant feelings of ‘Urgh, this? Again?’

I’ve found myself particularly vulnerable to falling down well-trod mental holes, my brain circling the drain of paralysing insecurity, complete indecision and general feelings of panic. This is not unusual for me. I’ve never really figured out how to deal with myself when I’m like this (if you have any tips, please share), so I’m not going to lie, I have been watching a lot of TV. Living in my own brain is not a good option for me right now, so I have been spending as much time ‘elsewhere’ as I possibly can.

I would say this is probably not how adults are supposed to deal with their problems, but if that was the case, why would Netflix even exist?

All of this was a really long winded way of explaining that most of my favourites this month are in the realm of television.

Russian Doll

Russian Doll

This show. I just… I can’t. It was as if Natasha Lyonne, Amy Poehler and Leslye Headland distilled everything that my heart needs right now down into funny, heart-wrenching, revelatory half hour segments.

Also I’m basically Alan (minus the whole roof thing, don’t worry).

Russian Doll is an amazing new Netflix drama about Nadia (Lyonne), who dies after being hit by a car on her birthday, only to wake up and repeat the loop of birthday/leave party/death over and over again. Eventually, after several deaths she finds another shares her violent ‘purgatory’ (it’s in the trailer so not really a spoiler), Alan, and together they try and figure out what the fuck is going on.

This show kind of defies categorization – its half hour slot makes you assume comedy, and it certainly is funny – but it’s also a high concept drama built in a complex and confusing purgatory-like world that is also a study on loneliness and childhood trauma.

It’s real good you should watch it. Natasha Lyonne is always stunning and never more so than in this.

The Umbrella Academy

The Umbrella Academy

This month I learned that the guy from My Chemical Romance wrote a series of graphic novels that got made into a TV show? Turns out people you don’t keep track of are still making stuff!

The Umbrella Academy is a show about a group of superheroes (and their one unsuper sister) who, after years of separation, come back together after the death of their abusive adoptive dad.

It’s a show about family dysfunction, the apocalypse, and how hard it is to pick which one of those is the more pressing issue.

I think we can all relate.

It also features one of the most impressive performances I think I’ve ever seen by a child actor. Fifteen-year-old Aiden Gallagher, playing a 50-something-year-old stuck in a 13-year-old’s body, has the presence and charisma of a much older actor, and was a consistent scene-stealer even with his much more experienced co-stars. Here’s hoping fame doesn’t ruin him, cause if he can avoid going crazy then I think he has an exciting career ahead of him.

Estee Lalonde


I’m not going to lie, I started watching Estee Lalonde videos earlier this year because she has short hair, and as of a few weeks ago, I also have short hair. I find her videos comfortingly down to earth – in a my skin care routine costs more than you earn in a month sort of way – and her willingness to share her down days (she deals with depression and anxiety) comforting as I climb out of my own psychological holes. Also she has a super cute greyhound.

Tin Star

Tin Star

This is a stupid fucking show that is essentially Lie To Me but with murder and alcoholism. Tim Roth gives a bizarre performance as Jack, a police officer/hitman/occasional drug dealer trying to keep his family together against unlikely odds of violence, cults and that time he murdered his daughter’s boyfriend.

It’s one of those shows that only exists to raise the stakes, and is entertaining even as it is utterly ludicrous. It also has an oddly comedic tone for a show that began with a toddler getting shot in the face.

Yet, I’m still watching.

New Girl

Nick and Jess

Rewatching because Nick and Jess are my OTP. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Author: Lydia Tewkesbury

27. Loves a good story.

19 thoughts on “February favourites”

  1. Oh I understand your feelings of general insecurities and panic and mental holes and just, well, drowning yourself in distractions and shows and books, I do that a lot too and wish I could have some advice, but honestly all that works for me is, well, drowning myself in books and blogging and making projects to look forward, travel, make small changes even just go away for a weekend, just to feel like I am doing something and not… just being there, stuck in my brain haha.
    I hope you’ll have a fabulous March, sending you tons of love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lots of love to you too! It is very difficult living in an anxious brain. If I come up with any better solutions I will let you know. I think you’re right though – planning trips and things to look forward to is so important.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. They are both just so good! Yes, definitely minus the roof thing! I love shows that are all heart like Russian Doll and The Umbrella Academy both are – they cut right to the centre of what so many of us are struggling with and that is so comforting to watch.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Generally, switching off from social media and diving into new worlds in books and TV actually helps with general feelings of insecurity. I also like meeting up with friends in a low-key setting like getting a hot chocolate or grabbing dinner so that you have someone to talk to. Hope it gets better!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is such good advice – thank you. You’re so right – getting out and seeing people is a great way to get out of your own head. I’ve found even just calling somebody and having a quick chat about nothing in particular makes me feel a little less anxious.


  3. Nick and Jess are together now? I’m so behind on the show. I think I watched the first 3 seasons and then stopped.. Looks like there are some new Netflix shows I’m missing out on. I have stopped my subscription to focus on reading because there is just not enough time in a day haha.. that’s good that you decide to walk on a new route. You are braver than me because I’m afraid to get lost haha.. but definitely a change of scenery is the best experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There are too many shows to watch! I am behind on everything. Seriously well done to you for stopping your Netflix sub – every now and again I think of all the things I could get done if I wasn’t watching tv but… I’m too attached!


    1. Haha, thank you. I just read this book of Rebecca Solnit essays that has me even more introspective than usual… if only I could turn into work like hers!

      I really want to pick up the books now too – like I said I didn’t even know they existed until the Netflix show. Reading them would be a great way to tide me over until series two. This is the problem with Netflix, you binge and then have to wait FOREVER for the next season to come out. Old fashioned as it is these days, there is something to be said for watching things week to week.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Being lost where I live is just one aspect of my normal life xD I’m one of those people who is proud to be able to tell down from up, at least, if not left from right, and I get lost in my neighbourhood of 20 years every now and then. Just my brain xD

    I don’t watch stuff though, would you believe it. There’s just no time. We will watch a movie every three weeks or so, but that’s about it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! I do live in a really small place so it is harder for me to get lost, but when I used to live in a bigger city that would happen to me sometimes.

      I am so impressed by people who don’t want TV! I know I would read so much more if I didn’t but I just can’t resist.


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